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Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

There have been sightings in various shoe retailers in several states. He was seen being escorted from the premises at The Apache Bar and Grill (they don't serve food) and near the dumpster at the Baldwin CoGo's. But yet, he still doesn't call home. I stay up nights.

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moleman · Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 275 Location: The Garden Theater

I saw someone at the Garden Theater yesterday trying to buy a ticket. When he was informed it was closed he became very belligerent. He was carrying a bag full of ladies shoes. Size 12. In various styles.
Surely this was Matt.
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Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations.

Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

At the Lancome cosmetics counter in the Gimbel's at Greengate Mall. Needling the cosmetics lady and ranting about "not enough samples!". Screaming in his loudest voice, "I did it for Maxwell!". Surely, this was Matt.
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My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.

Matt · Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 50

My informants tell me that Matt was seen evacuating all of the fire extinguishers out of a burning old folk's home. No word on whether or not the old folks made it.
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Note to Self: Be Erect by Half-Past 10.

moleman · Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 275 Location: The Garden Theater

At the Youngwood Sheetz. Gobbling down 2 chili dogs and loading his pockets with packets of various condiment and condoms, then following a guy in a yellow Prince of Space shirt. Matt?
_________________
Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations.

Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

Matt has responded to our collective concern by camping on the cement slab at my back porch. He murmers in his sleep, often repeating "Hey Maxwell" and "Let's get swinging." I offered him a Lidia's pierogi w/ kraut but he waved me off while insisting, "I didn't hork...honest to god, I didn't hork." I think he horked while he was saying these things.
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My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.

Matt · Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 50

He did. Vile creature, that Matt.
_________________
Note to Self: Be Erect by Half-Past 10.

Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

[quote="Matt"]He did. Vile creature, that Matt.[/quote]

At last, "He Who Hastens to Hork in the Innocent Penny Loafer" admits his involvement. I admire you for comin' clean. Now you're done. Horker. On any shoe you can find. It's not nice.
_________________
My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.

tiny · Joined: 17 Jul 2008 Posts: 45 Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Matthew, from the Romanian Mattiescu, meaning "one who horks in penny loafers" - a fated name in this instance. Predestination? I think not. Parental precognition? Unlikely. More probable that it was the belief in such things that led him down the benighted path of the loafer-horker. Alas.
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What am I, wood over here?

DOLPH · Joined: 19 May 2009 Posts: 6 Location: Berlin

Party an meinem Haus, das holen ing das Bier ist, das die Späne holt, das die Pornografie hat