Poe Man Poe
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Donde es Matt ?There have been sightings in various shoe retailers in several states. He was seen being escorted from the premises at The Apache Bar and Grill (they don't serve food) and near the dumpster at the Baldwin CoGo's. But yet, he still doesn't call home. I stay up nights.
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moleman
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I saw someone at the Garden Theater yesterday trying to buy a ticket. When he was informed it was closed he became very belligerent. He was carrying a bag full of ladies shoes. Size 12. In various styles.
Surely this was Matt.
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Poe Man Poe
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At the Lancome cosmetics counter in the Gimbel's at Greengate Mall. Needling the cosmetics lady and ranting about "not enough samples!". Screaming in his loudest voice, "I did it for Maxwell!". Surely, this was Matt.
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Matt
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My informants tell me that Matt was seen evacuating all of the fire extinguishers out of a burning old folk's home. No word on whether or not the old folks made it.
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moleman
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At the Youngwood Sheetz. Gobbling down 2 chili dogs and loading his pockets with packets of various condiment and condoms, then following a guy in a yellow Prince of Space shirt. Matt?
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Poe Man Poe
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Matt has responded to our collective concern by camping on the cement slab at my back porch. He murmers in his sleep, often repeating "Hey Maxwell" and "Let's get swinging." I offered him a Lidia's pierogi w/ kraut but he waved me off while insisting, "I didn't hork...honest to god, I didn't hork." I think he horked while he was saying these things.
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Matt
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He did. Vile creature, that Matt.
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Poe Man Poe
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[quote="Matt"]He did. Vile creature, that Matt.[/quote]
At last, "He Who Hastens to Hork in the Innocent Penny Loafer" admits his involvement. I admire you for comin' clean. Now you're done. Horker. On any shoe you can find. It's not nice.
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tiny
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Matthew, from the Romanian Mattiescu, meaning "one who horks in penny loafers" - a fated name in this instance. Predestination? I think not. Parental precognition? Unlikely. More probable that it was the belief in such things that led him down the benighted path of the loafer-horker. Alas.
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DOLPH
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Party an meinem Haus, das holen ing das Bier ist, das die Späne holt, das die Pornografie hat
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Matt
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Beer and pornography? I'm there, Dolph!
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Zoltan
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How do you say Guacamole in German??
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moleman
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Sun Drugs. Perusing the male enhancement products and taking bites of a Mallo Cup that he did not pay for yet. Slayer t shirt. Pink crocs. Bermudas. Tattoo of Tattoo on his left calf.
Matt?
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Matt
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Close. My calf tattoo is of faux lesbo Russian pop stars TaTu.
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Poe Man Poe
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Undo's in St. Clarsville, OH. I was counting the pubes in the tines of my fork, when a tour bus packed with senior citizens pulled to the curb. To a person, they all wore matching "Bite Me Off" tees and were all singing " It Is So Matt" in unison. I asked, "Donde es Matteo?" "Con su mamma!", was the response. My mom and Matt. I quess I have to save him a place at the card table this Thanksgiving. Not that it really matters, but I had the Undo's Creamed Spinich Extravaganza Rolls. Runs.
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tiny
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In the audience at the last Turt Shartley and the Soilers show at a barn raising in Atlantic, PA. Unconvincing Amish disguise, hopped up horse and buggy, wonky eye. Spotted trying a wheelie after a botched peel-out in the gravel parking area.
Matteo?
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Poe Man Poe
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Palming a package of classic pink hair rollers and filching an entire case of Aqua-Net at the Zayre's in McKeesport, Pa...explaining away his actions to the loss prevention personnel and claiming he was "set-up". Matt?
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Bombshell
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Last I saw, he had his tongue down Shirley McClaine's ear. McClaine. Slut. She'd do anyone for a few slot tokens and a gimlet.
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Poe Man Poe
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McClaine. You could park a Corvair in there.
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Poe Man Poe
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Tonguing the display window at Parente's TV Repair and Sales in Donora, Pa. Salivating and qouging at his privates whilst eyeing the Mighty Taco commercials through the glass. Snow was beginning to fall and the city workers were installing the community Christmas lights. It looked like Matt. I think he had been drinking.
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