Let's get swinging!

Professor Tanhauser · Let's get swinging!

So come on, guys, let's get this place jumping!

How about movie requests for OBC? Personally I'd like to see some old SF films like "creation of the humanoids" and "12 to the moon".

What do you want to see on OBC, cats?

Maxwell Truth

Aaaahhh Professor, so good of you to jump in the pool

Professor Tanhauser

Maxwell Truth

well thanx for the kudos. Im working on a cd as we speak(type) and that will probably be one of the songs. Stay Tuned...
As far as specific film requests, we are always looking for new or should I say old movies... so keep those requests coming we want to know what you need out there in the void.

blackbeard44

hey max, how about the'' haunting' 1963 black and white. very scary very good movie. ps zelda is a hottie . shiver me timbers

Professor Tanhauser

If you cats really want to get this place swinging, be sure to mention that maxwell occasionally puts in appearances on the forum at offbeat cinema.com and actually talks to peeps here.

BTW, a great movie that's free and public domain, two of them, actually, are "Voyage to the prehistoric planet" and "Planet of prehistoric women" which are basically both converted versions of an old russian movie called "Planet of storms".

CaptPeterBlood · Billy the Kid versus Dracula

Request...I haven't seen Billy the Kid versus Dracula 1966 in a long set of moons...too long to count.

Poe Man Poe

Caltiki the Immortal Monster is a good B&W. Perfect for the show.

MystMoonstruck

I'd vote for "Caltiki the Immortal Monster"! Somewhere in my all-too-vast videotape collection, I have a grainy copy of this rather obscure classic that definitely has a cult following. It used to be shown frequently in the Sixties and early Seventies, but slipped from view.

There are so many that I've seen a few times or even just once and would love to have a copy of, even in fragmented form. At the top of my list is "The Asphyx", which I remember being quite remarkable.

I finally had the opportunity to see "Attack of the Crab Monsters". Except for the big eyes painted on the shells, this really is quite good. I was astonished how much of it matched my memories of seeing it in the Fifties-Sixties.

Oh! I know one that is fascinating especially because the story changes midway: "The Undead". The opening is influenced by "The Search for Bridie Murphy"; the rest, by~um... Well, it seems to be set in medieval times, and there's witchery and the Devil, with Dick Miller thrown in, an always-welcome sight. What a cutie! Yes. "The Undead" would be an excellent one for OBC!

Perhaps I'll think of all of those I've been longing to see again.

Oh! I know another one: "Curse of the Faceless Man"! I saw this at the drive-in way back when. I was sooooo happy when I was able to videotape it. I've seen it attacked, but I love it as much now as I did back then. Once more, my memories proved true, with so many scenes firmly imprinted. Now, if only I could remember real people as clearly as reel people. *groan* The pun overcame my judgment. Blame all of those years of reading Forry's commentary in "Famous Monsters of Filmland". I still have many copies of that magazine.

Oh! I know another: "Sound of Horror"! Someone at Yahoo!Answers told me about this film and guided me to a clip of it on YouTube. Now, I want to see it! I want to see the invisible dragon or dinosaur or whatever it is! Well, you know what I mean! You actually only see the critter when it's burning, a bit like the Creature of the Id in "Forbidden Planet", wouldn't you say?

Poe Man Poe

SymphoniedesGrauens · Movie Request

Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922) or
Werner Herzog's 1979 remake.
I <3 Nosferatu.

Poe Man Poe

Swinging, indeed. I staple my tongue to the kitchen floor. I give myself an enema. Epson salts and expensive cognac. Let's do something like beat the sh*t outta me. Now that's something to do. I hear criickets in here.

Matt

I'm a swinging guy!

Throw a belt!

Over the shower curtain rod!

AAAAAAAAnd

SWING~!

Poe Man Poe

Poe Man Poe

I couldn't help myself. Last night I watched "Isn't It Just Tongue" (1949) B&W starring Yves Montand as 'Cha-Cha' and Dorans Fleetch in the role of 'Marta the Plagued'. This one was adapted from the original production which ran on Broadway from 1930 to 1933 with Peter Handson and an aging, but still capable Steetz Herming as the janitor with the bilateral lisp. I give this one a 4 outta 5 just for the scare factor alone.

moleman

Last night I hid in the basement and watched "Two On A Radiator" 1973
On my Give a Show Projector. I can't get enough. It slippped out.

Poe Man Poe

[quote="moleman"][color=green]Last night I hid in the basement and watched "Two On A Radiator" 1973
On my Give a Show Projector. I can't get enough. It slippped out.[/color][/quote]

I checked-out the sequel "Three On A Water Heater" but not on my Give-A-Show projector. Instead I watched a laser-disk copy. It was the Criterion Collection version that included the entire production done in sign language. Indeed, it slipped out.

moleman

Last night it was "Four On A Heat Pump". Seventies Bulgarian porn. On my Talking Viewmaster. Someone was peering in my window. It enhanced the viewing experience.

Poe Man Poe

Tonight is "One on Two and a Half Abandoned Mattresses" 1961 starring Burt Convey as 'Toontz'. I only have the sound track on cassette tape. I plan to enact the movie using a candle from the dollar store and shadow puppets. You can still get seats for this one.

moleman

Poe Man Poe

My plumber was found hanged by the neck from the neighbor's third story window. He was tryin' to catch up on reruns of "Let's Make a Deal" through her open window. Last words were, "Let's get swinging!" He really wanted the curtain where Carol Merrill is now standing. He got the swinging instead.

moleman

I sold my tv and invested in a good pair of Steiner binocs. East German Army surplus. Now I only watch my favorite shows through the window.
Such as "Celebrity Enema" Hosted by that guy that used to play the lonely Maytag Repairman.

Poe Man Poe

And 'Celebrity Nocturnal Emissions' with Debralee Scot and Ethal Merman.

Poe Man Poe

I stalked my Avon Lady. I heard her tell Mrs. Fiberts from # 205 that she told her husband, "Let's Get Swinging." His name was Kenneth. He didn't care for just 'Ken'.

Poe Man Poe

I decided to ask my Avon Lady out onna date. She had the veal. I drank more than ever when I got home. She kept referring to a place called "Harry's Lunch" and added that we should go there because it was time to "Get swinging..." I told her that I had already swung and couldn't go to the Harry's lunch place because I had just shi*t myself right in the booth. I lied. I would have said anything to get outta there.

moleman

My Avon Lady hasn't showed up lately. I ordered some after shave in a Luke Ravenstahl collectible decanter.

Poe Man Poe

My Avon lady, rather than displaying her usual joie de vivre, became rather surly, even aggressive with me because I tarried when she rang the doorbell. She didn't care for my explanation for my delay in opening the door..."I was cinching up my robe as to not have you respond negatively had you viewed my bared visage." She interpretted my remark as a negative reference to her ability to copulate. She threw me head-long down the basement stairs and mounted me. "Cinch this.", she repeated. At length, I was able to negotiate the stairs back into the kitchen where she stood akimbo whilst eating the last of the Bugles. Original flavor. She was drinking a substance right out of a Luke Ravensthal decantor. "The guy who ordered this is next.", she yelled. I'm just sayin'.

moleman

The avon lady has been driving by my house all week. My lights are all out. I'm hiding in the basement shower. Buddy Ebsen has been notified.

Poe Man Poe

My Avon Lady has is given to fits akin to Torette's. Recently, she exhibited symptoms while showing my wife the Skin So Soft in the Morey Amsterdam decanter. I wiped the spittle off her mouth lips with a silk handkerchief. When you look at the hanky now, you can see the image of Yves Montand. I'll nver wash it.

moleman

I had dinner with my Avon Lady last night. I don't know her name. I just call her Avon Lady. We watched "Celebrity Nocturnal Emissions". Burgess Meredith was featured. She left at 10. Nocturnal emission at 2.

Poe Man Poe

I tethered my Avon Lady to the gazebo last night. It became necessary to inform her that she would remain at the gazebo until she screamed "Let's get swinging" at the top of her lungs. At 2:37am she complied. She's safely at home now, probably swinging something. One can only hope that this would be. When I phoned her this morning she answered by saying, "Runs." I replied, "Let's get swinging." We swang.

Poe Man Poe

The swanging with my Avon Lady has reached a fevered tempo which I am inadequately prepared to describe here. I think it's the sample she gave me of 'April Trumpet' bath salts that gets her going. I gotta switch back to Old Spice. She tells me I'll get the trots if I switch now. I suspect she's lying. She took my car keys and I suspect she has put booze in my Flavor-Aid (lime). You can tell when someone messes with the lime flavor. I'm just sayin'. Let's get swinging.

Poe Man Poe

I have beseeched you all, for an extended period of time, to get swinging. The results have been paltry, at best. I sit here with my girlfriend's Persian rug protruding from her betwixt and between and she thinks I should take a bite. I have determined that this is not a way to get swinging on a Sunday night. However, in the spirit in which I believe this thread was created, I intend to piss on my neighbor's lawn in an attempt to get it swinging. Now.

Poe Man Poe

Despite my efforts to oil the gears of thought and render the webs of sh*t but a bad dream, and in your seemingly collecive resistance to responding to the same, I am pleased see that Zoltan has been able to bring his A-game and show us his testicles. I salute you, Zoltan. Please show us more of your testicles.

moleman

I tried swinging last night. It resulted in a pain in my groin followed by pussy discharge. I will swing again tonight. For Zoltan. and Matt.

Poe Man Poe

He climbed to the top of the southern most arch of the Roberto Clemente bridge. He began to print his name with a large marker. He only made it to the first letter, 'M', when he lost his footing and began to fall. His tee shirt caught on a bolt protruding from the girder and suspended him there just long enough for him to reach for his lighter. In his attempt to enjoy one last Kool he inadvertently ignited his tee shirt. "Let's Get Swinging" it read. As he dropped into the Allegheney river he was heard to scream, "I swang as hard as I could!" Now this is dedication to the art of swinging.

Matt

Poe, man.

Poe.

moleman

Swang last night. Painful discharge this morning. Observed a red painted M on the Lawrenceville side of the 40th st bridge on the way to the free clinic.

Poe Man Poe

Went to 'Swang's' on West Liberty and Potomac. After ordering the Swang's Special with feta, I came to the actualization that I neglected to don my "Let's Get Swinging" sport-T in basic gray. This is how I get when I start on the hard stuff. You know, generic banana flips and those cheap Ho-Ho knock-offs. I tend to get forgetful whilst endulging in this manner. However, I gave it my best swang. And then some.

moleman

Swang last night at Sputzies. Waited in the corner booth for over an hour but no Maxwell. Went home with the waitress. painful discharge.

Poe Man Poe

I have implored, beseeched, entreated, called upon in supplication, and prayed in earnest for those about me to get swinging. All of these actions have been taken to no avail. The only ones who have conducted themselves in a proper swinging fashion have been Little Timmy Shoontz who convincingly emulated swinging by fashioning a make-shift gallows and then hanging himself until dead, and Shelly "Bumps" Congeniwicz who doused herself in kerosene and set herself ablaze while singing "You'll Have to Swing Without Me" and throwing herself down the fire escape at the Edison Hotel. I feel that these are very good examples of swinging. Now, the rest of you fuc*ing slackers need to get swinging or else orphans will go blind somewhere.

tiny

She chortled. No swang. Purulent discharge. Doctor's tomorrow. Chortler.

Poe Man Poe

tiny has come forward and has attempted to get swinging. Now, it's time for the other members of this message board to get swinging. Feel free to post your methods of swinging here. She was 80 but she sported red control-top fishnets and a garter belt. Her breasts heaved up and down as she dragged each breath out of the oxygen tank through the hoses in her nose. "Got time to swing?", she asked. I didn't have time, but I left her a tip. She swang.

Zoltan

Upon her 18th Bithday ,Ms Peggy MacArthur, tried desperately to put on her best "Tootie from the Facts Of Life" Face . Wishing for "The rusty trombone" Pegggy Screamed out to me,"Wanna Swing ", But, Not being in the mood . I instead gave her a coupon to Schnitzel Hutt......

Poe Man Poe

I have considered nuns who qweef. I don't think they talk about the qweefing. But I know it goes on. And I think this can be considered to be the swinging. I'm just sayin'.

moleman

Attempted to swing in the parking lot of the out of business Gee Bees and was accosted by non-swinging types sporting "Donde es Matt" t shirts. They shut me down. On the way home I believe I saw Tiny swinging at Club Zoltan on Liberty. He pretended he didn't know me.

Sir Richard Pumpaloaf

I met 3 Andalusian dwarf babes at a martini lounge, they asked if I wanted to swing. We went to their place and when I realized they were sporting Angorra merkins I reached for my Reactin only to realize they pilfered them and used them as supposatories. Wanted to swing but was hornswoggled!! Having allergies can cut into ones swing. Rolling Eyes

Poe Man Poe

When I opened my container of Land 'O Lakes (large tub, unsalted) I discerned a tongue print that was not mine. I deduced that there had been swinging occurring in the kitchen while I slept. I prefer to be awake when the swinging commences. I made a wax impression of the tongue print and keep it with me at all times in the event that I need to conduct a comparison. I was thrown out of Milange's Malta Room and Muffin Emporium for comparing the print with those on the thigh of the proprietor's wife. I tried to explain what I was doing with her skirt over my head, but there was no consoling the man. He just didn't seem to care about the swinging or the butter tonguing. A prick.

Matt

Poe Man Poe

I awakened to the sound of the sanitary engineers quarrelling while they engaged the hydraulic compactor on a rusted-out hulk of a truck. I peeled open my eyes and could discern the chipped blue letters which had been stenciled on the side of the truck..."City of Erie", it read. I had started out throwing double vodka-sevens at least two days prior, in Jeannette, Pa. I participated in "Necro Night" at Toontah's on Clay St., and, as previously indicated, woke up in Erie. My memory was not intact and I had evidently become incontinent of bladder. I pulled myself to my feet and staggered out of the alley toward the sound of traffic. I cursed the morning sun and prayed to the god for rain, or at least, some gray clouds. The god didn't care about the sun, or clouds, or even a hangover that felt like Death's tongue reaming my asshole. I managed a few Anacins that had melded together in the back pocket of my Sans-a-Belts and hooked them down without any water. My throat felt like a whore's privates as I leaned into the doorway of Hank's Haus of Suds. I pulled at the door. It felt like it weighed 100 pounds as I made my way in. I took a seat near the el in the bar so I could be facing the door. One never knows who may show up. The bartender leered at me like I had stolen something, or like I had said something about his mother. "Vodka-seven", I said. "And pour it like you don't own it." He turned to grab the bottle off of the bottom shelf and I noticed that he was wearing a "Donde es Matt" tee. He had it on inside out and backwards, but I could still make out the design and lettering through the volumes of sweat that saturated the back of his shirt. I smelled a conspiracy and intended to remain in this establishment until I figured it out. I believe there was swinging involved.

Matt

Eyes, bloodshot and glassy, burp open at the braying of a gifted Maxwell Truth alarm clock (Helllllloooo, daddy-o! TimeToWakeUp-TimeToWakeUp!), head thumping like the kicks of an angry mule. I swat pathetically in the general direction of Maxwell's annoying call and fall to the floor with a quaking thud. Piercing jabs follow; Immense pain of the highest order. I peel myself off the floor and glance about. Turns out I landed atop a stack of bootlegged beta copies of the Three Fantastic SuperMen. I've no idea how I came into possession of this particular trove, but I bless Detroit and Iggy Pop for their generosity regardless. From the next room over I can hear my mother watching the midday newscast. Weatherman claims 97 degrees. My tongue tastes of cigarette butts and sandpaper and I want to punt his skull in. Glance at the clock... 12:20. Must be at the bar for the shift in 10 minutes. No time for a shower or change of clothes so I simply spray my shirt with cologne and turn it inside out on my way out the door. It may have been backwards as well. Uneventful shift save for this pretentious twat in all black reciting god-awful poetry about... I don't know... some bird or something in the corner. His pleas for "Vodka-sevens" were punctuated with barbs at my mother. He also slid many a coaster into his pocket. Prick.

Bombshell

This joint's deader'n a doornail.

Zoltan

B( 0 ) ( 0 )B'S

Sir Richard Pumpaloaf

Matt

moleman

The dual harmonic brass ringer on my roatary Western Electric phone woke me from a sound sleep. I was dreaming about Maxwell. He was working in the Men's Department at a New Jersey Penney's and got fired for eating his lunch in the changing rooms. He said he liked the ambience and had no intention of quitting. Said he'd be back as a customer.
As I shook the cobwebs out and picked up the receiver I noticed an empty fifth of Bourbon on the floor. Ancient Age. There were lipstick stains on the glass on my nightstand and someone had been rifling through my Fred Waring records. I was thinking that my tongue tasted like cigarette butts and sandpaper, but I didn't want to steal anyone's bit so I settled on White Owls and Emery Cloth.
As I tried to remember the events of the previous night I realized that I was holding the phone in my left hand and someone was trying to talk to me. I put the reciever to my ear and mumbled something. The voice told me to get swinging. I tried to explain that I had swung already but to no avail. I hung up and got swinging. With Fred Waring Live From Terre Haute.

Sir Richard Pumpaloaf

Poe Man Poe

insurreptitious = not a word. There's your attention for the day. Now go be a hippy.

Zoltan

What Poe Said...........

Matt

This is a man who knows how to swing.

Follow his lead, gents.

Foloow his leed.

Sir Richard Pumpaloaf

Let's get swinging!

Billy the Kid versus Dracula

Movie Request