| Archive for offbeatcinema.myfastforum.org Off Beat Cinema's Groovy Talk Message Board, man. |
| Matt |
My mom says...I can't hang out with you guys anymore.She thinks you're all on drugs. |
| Poe Man Poe |
I think your mom sounds like a nice person. Please ask her to let you come out and play with the other kids. Promise her that you'll behave. Stop taking that cough medicine. Stop waking up in dumpsters, like Zoltan. |
| Zoltan |
I have a hard-on for you the size of Florida
Come back, we'll rummage I may be going out on a limb here, but you don't seem like a happy camper |
| Matt |
I have a hard on the size of Rhode Island for cough syrup. And there's nothing wrong with waking up in dumpsters. At least you know you've usually got a good meal on hand.
Uh-oh, I gotta go. I think mom hears the clickety-clak of my keyboard! |
| moleman |
I propose a dumpster meet up. Behind the Apache Lounge. I'll bring the Pertussan. My mom will drive us home. |
| Matt |
Right. I'll bring the cough syrup. Zoltan can bring the hard ons. Preferably in a bag. We can't have them things flopping about all willy-nilly! |
| Poe Man Poe |
Zoltan has always been at least half in the bag. Don't worry, you had him at the very mention of flopping. I won't be able to partake of the cough syrup or the hard. However, I intend to bring several pre-paid prostitutes. I have secured the services of Three Hands Mary, Mavis Mizola, and the corpse of Shirley Booth to provide just about everything up to and including, French horn, sleeve jobs, ankle wetting, salad bowl, hanging Oriental basket, and the "Over-Nighter". Bring your wives and moms. moleman's mom will drive us home. |
| Matt |
Your prostitutes sound enchanting, Poe. I'm especially looking forward to a sleeve job from the 3-pronged stylings of Miss Mary. I would also like to announce that I've acquired the services of 3-time Slammy Award winner, Owen Hart, for the occasion. He'll be delivering a speech sometime between the ankle wettings and hanging oriental baskets. We have to have him back in Calgary by daybreak, however, or I'll be forced to pay for an extra day. NO AUTOGRAPHS! |
| Zoltan |
I'll bring Jell-o and a garden hose
Ms. Trudi Agar wants to bring her rusty trombone. I think she's bringing it or I didn't quite understand her..... |
| Sir Richard Pumpaloaf |
My Mom says I should avoid dumpster people because they usually have STD's!! I heard Herve Villachez dined quite frequently in a dumpster? |
| moleman |
I wish I had a mom like Matts. My mom traded me for a fifth of Gilbys and 3 Mary Marvel comic books back in 1964. I heard she now works downtown giving dumpster jobs for small ammounts of cash and french fries. I believe Tony is a regular customer. |
| Sir Richard Pumpaloaf |
Dumpstershttp://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/090424/koddities/brite_dumpster_sex |
| old bob |
Maybe your mom should spend some time here. |
| Poe Man Poe |
I leaned into the door jamb of "The Wing-Tip Cafe" to escape the rain (and a guy who was chasing me because I lifted his wallet). Behind the bar was a middle-aged woman with a #2 pencil stuck behind her ear. She was pouring draft beers and finishing the Jumble in the Valley Independent from the previous day. I ordered up a Genesee and a black sambuca, on. After four or fourteen rounds like this, I finally harnessed the courage to inquire as to her name. "Whatta ya, writin' a book?" was her response. "Leave 'at chapter auht!".
"Yes ma'am...sorry." "Get out, and your fly's open. Nobody calls me ma'am except my grandson, Matt, ya fu*k!" Matt's gran? I dunno. I've been thrown out of worse places. And there wasn't even anyone wearing wing-tips in there. |
| Matt |
Sounds like her.
Did she have a nervous tick and continually brag about her bleached asshole? |
| moleman |
I took my normal seat in the corner booth at the Pom-Aid Inn. I ordered a Beanie Copter and a bottle of Tor lite and told the waitress to keep em coming. I was sucking them down like there was no tomorrow which there probably isn't, when the pay phone rang. No one moved. I stumbled towards it accidently on purpose grabbing onto to Sally, the night bartender. She shoved me and I picked up the receiver. I heard a tv on in the background. Golden Girls. The voice on the other end said "Matt. Come home now. Stuffed Pepper night." and hung up.
Maxwell? Matt's mom? Tiny? |