Professor Tanhauser
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The amazing powwer of...COFFEE!I'm sure the cats at the hungry ear are well hip to some of coffee's amazing powers, but didja know this?: It can help you predict what kind of day you're in for, weatherwise.
Seriously, it's true. When you pour your first cup, look at the bubbles floating on top real quick. Are they all clumped together in the middle, avoiding the edges? That means you're having very low humidity, which usually makes for a clear, dry day.
If, OTOH, the bubbles form a ring around the rim and avoid the middle, it means high humidity, which usually means a cloudy, muggy, rainy day.
Who ever know that coffee can help predict the weather? 
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Poe Man Poe
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I have seen this phenomenom in the volumes of puddle horked near the dumpster behind the liquor store. If you can tolerate the odor, you can communicate with dead celebrities by staring into the foam.
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moleman
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I hang out around the urinals at the airport restrooms. The residue of those that don't flush is examined. Stock picks. Celebrity gossip. The state of my prostate. It's all there.
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Diehlia Alder
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I vaeugly remember watching a NOVA episode in 8th grade about the ring patterns pooled coffee leaves as it evaporates. The terms and | Quote: | | vapor pressure differential |
float in my mind at the mention of either coffee related phenomena, though I'm not quite sure why....
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Poe Man Poe
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NOVA Episode #16: Carl Sagan is given a Smoothie enema. Blueberry. I have a copy on laser disc . I have a back up on Beta, just in case.
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Poe Man Poe
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NOVA Epidode # 11: Spence gives his all while wacking in the ladies room. He discovers that no one pisses between 10:07am and 10:09 am. He emerges the hero after the toilet stuffs up and he provides a solution. The guy who played Wally on 'Leave It To Beaver' is the host. He provides a good narrative. Wally. He left it out.
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moleman
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Cranberry Juice and Transmission fluid. Neat. Take a swallow and have someone kick you in the bargain basement. Interpret the spew. all will be revealed.
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Poe Man Poe
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NOVA Episode #6: Marshall finds an enema bag applicator that reminds him of his step-mother. Hilarity ensues when Vinney paints a moustache on the step-mother tip.
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moleman
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Coffee. Arabica. Substitute dog's milk for cream. From a Schnauzer. Drink in dark room while watching NOVA.
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Poe Man Poe
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Tang and Mrs. Grass's Chicken Noodle Soup (with the little gelatinous 'golden egg'). Place in blender and frappe. Serve in cup cake tins. Decorate with edible sugar renderings of Barney Rubble. Enjoy.
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moleman
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Funny Face Jolly Olly Orange. Mix with Ipecac. Drink from an old Wingtip. Size 12. Enjoy.
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Poe Man Poe
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An entire 5lb can of Maxwell House Decaf mixed with the contents of the emptied bladders of 5 hobos after they have consumed a case of Ripple. Strained through a live Sears electric blanket with the setting on #5. Serve in Josie and the Pussycats sippy cups with a sprig of spearmint. Tell your friends.
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tiny
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Boiled to tar-like viscosity, then extruded into used plastic drinking straws and festively wrapped in aluminum foil. Used as a stir in McDonald's coffee or Kahlua as a fortifier, or inserted directly into an orifice of your choosing. The straw makes it easy!
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Poe Man Poe
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Deboned sheep pressings steamed in a bath of tomato rarebit in sabayon sauce (not too thick) then garnished with a petite soupcon of Rhode Island Chicken and rosemary. Serve in a filthy eagle-clawed bathtub with individual ladles. Bring the kids.
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moleman
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Funny Face Choo Choo Cherry. straight up. Then climb the neighbors ladder and watch Mannix through the bedroom window as they milk the dog.
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Poe Man Poe
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Chock full O' Nuts, medium grind, pressed into the shapes of the Von Trapp kids from the Sound of Music. A cheap impersonator of Julie Andrews tapping a soup spoon on the side of a commercial size coffee vending machine to the tune of 'Lonely Goatherd' while straining tepid turpintine and said pressed shapes of coffee through the crotch of her Haines for Hers. Serve in Idelwild Park commemorative tankard with a candied dill spear.
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moleman
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Rootin Tootin Rasberry. Mixed in the bottom of a dumpster. In back of a chinese restaurant.
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Poe Man Poe
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Eight O'Clock drip-grind served at nine o'clock from a 10 gallon aquarium. Ladled into filthy bistro demitasse cups by a guy named Bistro Joe.
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tiny
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Turkish blend with Turkish Blend, split 50/50, scalded in a Turkish cezve, strained through faded Garanimals from the Good Will. Served with a twist of Turkish lemon in a Turkish bath. Cup optional.
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moleman
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Grape Kool Aid. Pour packet into Liltre of Vodka. Shake. Drink behind Bobby's dumpster in a pool of your own vomit.
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Poe Man Poe
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A 15oz jar of Postum applied liberally to a roasting chicken which is then stuffed into an Amish turkey. Place in a 450 degree oven for 5 hours. Strain the contents through an extra large Depends, garnish with walnuts and serve in Dutch Boy paint cans.
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Matt
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Jesus Christ! Ya'll are wacky! This thread was a tremendous read.
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moleman
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Strawberry YooHoo and grain alcohol. With fresh prunes. FRESH prunes. Strains through stockings of local prositute. Add ice. Drink at Matt's house while watching reruns of the A team.
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Poe Man Poe
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A pound of Folger's crystals spun in a dryer at the Crafton Laundro-mat with 10 boxes of Enoz brand moth balls (naphthalene, but you knew that) and combined with four gallons of Old Crow whiskey and drained over Matt's testicles. Serve in dixie cups purloined from Bacha's Funeral Home in Greensburg. Stir and garnish with a slice of lime.
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Matt
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| Poe Man Poe wrote: | | Stir and garnish with a slice of lime. |
Now THAT is classy.
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