To the Cast

beatel · To the Cast

Wow, Killer! I didn't know you guys were still currently doing this show. Not to be an ass but I thought this was all done several years ago. I just started watching a couple of weeks ago and am very pleasantly surprised by the cheese and commentary of the cheese that is presented with your productions. Congrats!!! How long has this show been on for? I just saw what was an anniversary celebration with many guests participating/congratulating your lot last evening. You all gave away an awful lot of cups it appeared.
I've just started working late night again and miss being able to see the movies nobody knew existed. UPN(sorry about the network plug) used to play them here in AZ many years ago, but alas, programming changes. My favorite part was trying to locate the film in some discrete video store after seeing them. The Blue Iguana (the one without Darryl Hannah) and Absolute Beginners (found at Goodwill) were not easy to find. These though are much to new and not anywhere near on par with the titles you have provided me the pleasure of experiencing.(much to highbrow)
Please continue with the vast amount of research you perform to enlighten us with the movies that many of us never knew existed.(Or thought were so terrible we didn't want to pay $2.99 to rent)
Congratulations again and thank you.....

Maxwell Truth

Thanx Daddio. Yes we are still very much alive but depending on what city you are watching from we may have lost or changed stations over the years. So glad you found your way back to the Hungry Ear man. We've missed you. What station are you seeing us on?

Professor Tanhauser

hellbender

Lewiston, Idaho also has you on RTN. Offbeat Cinema and PBS British comedies are the television highlights on the weekends.

Poe Man Poe

I opted for the turkey neck. Then I was thrown down the cellar stairs by my step-sister. They call her 'Rimmer'.

moleman

Giblets. Then kicked in the store by my Aunt Sadie.

Poe Man Poe

Tongue stapled to chin. Placed in a refrigerator box and rolled down Mt. Washington in my BVDs. Now I can see the river.

moleman

Maytag box. With a ferret. After eating the pork special at Shemmies.

Poe Man Poe

Rolled up inna cheap oriental rug. Crank and sack duct-taped to my leg. Left for dead behind the Prizant's Carpeting Outlet in Holiday Park. Good times.

moleman

Locked in the men's room. McCandless Prizants. With takeout from Shemmies and no TP.

Poe Man Poe

Trapped in the elevator shaft at the Melrose building. This place used to be a movie theater. There is a poster of Yves Montand on the wall. Box of Goobers and a warm Coke. Runs.

moleman

Maytag box in a patch of weeds off the West End circle. Picture of Eve Plumb taped on the inside. Box of Rainsanettes and warm Regent Mint Ginger Ale. runs

Poe Man Poe

Room 206 at the 'Blue Moon Motel' in Large, Pa. No phone. No cable. A blueish-green fly gouges at the filthy lightbulb suspended from the ceiling by naked copper wiring. I called room service and ordered 'The Country Special'. Runs.

tiny

Dumpster behind Flushie's and some city chicken in a waxed cardboard box. Sputtering runs.

moleman

Broom closet at the Apache Lounge. 1977 issue of Tiger Beat featuring Eve Plumb. 7 Zagnut bars and a bottle of Real Lemon. Squits.

Poe Man Poe

Women's locker room at Westmoreland Community College...half a case of strawberry Ensure, a fifth of Jose Cuervo strained through a leather briefcase, a dozen lemons, an entire salt lick, and a melted Eskimo pie licked out of a filty ashtray filled with feminine hygiene product wrappers. Swollen nipples, hives, a rash across the sack, and torrential runs have ensued. I think I'll hit the New Stanton Tastee-Freeze for dinner. I anticipate runs. In fact, I lust for them.

tiny

Understudying for the role of Poonie in "Babs and Shelley Berman take Manhattan" - mentos, pop rocks, alka seltzer, and Mountain Dew in a rusty can that may or may not have at one time contained turpentine. Chunky, tornadic wind, a yellow-brown mist, and smoke. I smell the long pork.

Poe Man Poe

In the sub-basement of the Rector YWCA. A sign with faded gray lettering reads "Rector. I damn near killed her". A 13 inch black and white portable is on and tuned to channel 3. The tubes glow in the dark as a Tom and Jerry cartoon plays in a constant loop. A dozen bottles of Aqua-Velva strained through a feminine hygiene product and served in a cup-cake tin. Four chunks of pemmican and a knock-off HoHo. Blazing gobs of lava-hot feces and a pint of blood sloshing down the legs of my Hagger business slacks. A sulphurous cloud ignites into a Cadillac-sized fire ball. Smoke alarms sounding and the howl of the Rector Fire Dept. sirens can be heard. Runs. Loose.

tiny

The Local Shop, egg salad sandwich off the rack. Unrefrigerated. 3 hours of suspect borborygmus followed by aerosol ketones and esters. Immediately on the heels of that stenchfest, 27 minutes of a 250 psi, 1/16" diameter stream of putrescence capable of stencil cutting stamp steel. Limbs were lost. So caustic that the amputations were instantly chemically cauterized. I'll never wear that pair of Sans-a-Belts again.

Poe Man Poe

The Sponge Room in Trafford, Pa. It used to be the "Spit 'n Whistle" where Senchan served the best brisket and spud casserole in town. But I digress. I had "The Dropper"- a petite soupcon of frog legs and free-range chicken egg omelet over a bed of bamboo shoots and Gouda. I vaguely remember hearing the strains of "The Concerto for the X-15" as the wall paper in my neighbor's powder room peeled back and ignited while the contents of my bowels showered forth. I felt as if I was going to die and then immediately peer into the face of the deity. Runs, indeed.

moleman

222 Club. Back room where they keep the antique pube shaving equipment and private dining booths. Had a double portion of the Hootenany: a loaf of deep fried Wonder bread stuffed with Tater tots and Cheese Whiz still in the can, and slathered with the goo of a dozen Moon pies. Served in a hooker's sneaker.
vomitting. diarhea. coma. woke up a week later 25 pounds lighter and finding myself having been violated repeatedly.

Poe Man Poe

I needed to urinate like 'Peoria Lightening' in the home stretch at Hialeah. And it's part of the reason that I really didn't get to sample the cuisine at “Lenore's House of Pâté or Brisket and Lounge". My original intent was to piss and then peruse the menu. Upon entering the mens room I conducted a relief of my bladder so enjoyable that I feel an innate need to convey it here. As I attempted to relieve myself, I discerned a low moaning emanating from the stall nearest the filthy hand towel dispenser. I go to leave as quickly as possible ( I didn't even dry my hands,... and I mean runnin' 'cause fu*k this guy) and he rolls out of the stall and nails his head on the brownish linoleum. The last thing he uttered was, "Don't get the "Head Cheese and Spam Special!" He died and the authorities burned his body in a corn field. The head cheese sandwich thing made him go all animal and unreasonable. I decided to go to "Shemmies Shanks 'n' Franks" in Charleroi. I couldn't eat, though. Unexaggerated fountains of filth and bile emanating from every orifice due only to what I had witnessed in the men room. runs.