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Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

I have used my neighbor's garden hose and still, I am unable to remove the hork from my penny loafers. My neighbor has warned me about using things on his property. His wife encourages me to take whatever I want. Last night, while he was at work, I used his toothbrush. His wife said it was ok. Then she sh*t in my brand new wing tips. I know who sh*t in my Florsheims. She'll pay and pay for this.

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My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.

Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

Last evening, during dinner, the doorbell rang. A man in a cheap pin-stripe and smelling of Aqua-Velva presented with hooks for hands. On each hook he sported bronzed baby shoes. "Bronze yer kid's shoes, Mister? Only $35.00 a pair, or two pairs for $65.00"

"I don't have children. However, I do have a favorite pair of penny loafers that I would like to keep forever.” I responded.
When I showed him the shoes he jacked the price to $40.00. I thought it was due to the size twelves, but hook-hands explained, "I gotta charge extra 'cause someone horked in these shoes."

"Yeah, I have tried to get the hork out, but nothing seems to work."

With a look of genuine concern, hooks said, "I've seen this before. There's just no getting rid of the hork."

"Will the bronze show off the chunks of cookie dough and gummy bears in the hork?” I asked.

"Absolutely.", he responded.

I admonished hooks, "Don't try to steal my horked penny loafers, or I'll hunt you down and kick you in the dick."

"I wouldn't do that sir, and please don't dick kick my dick. I have a hook there too." At this remark, my wife left the dinning room table and showed considerable more interest in having something bronzed. I went back to my Banquet Fried Chicken Deluxe TV dinner while she stood on the porch for several hours outlining her preferences for the bronzing of some of her precious items.

Bronzed horked penny loafers. I just gotta have. He told me he would have them back to me next week and that if I'm not at home, he will just give the bill to my wife.
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My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.

Sir Richard Pumpaloaf · Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:23 pm Post subject:

Here are couple of suggesttions for hork-removcal

http://www.indiamart.com/company/911118/#

http://www.casttv.com/search/tags:hork/2
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He who does not ram the lamb, strokes the goat!!

tiny · Joined: 17 Jul 2008 Posts: 45 Location: Pittsburgh, PA

The Cyanuric Acid looks promising.
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What am I, wood over here?

Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

Tri-County Plaza Pic-Way in Belle Vernon. I was thrown out of the Grant's Dept. Store for lingering in the ladies finery aisle for 4 hours, so I decided it was time for new shoes. I made my way through the Beatle boots and found a reasonably priced and sensible looking pair of new brogans. I was out of the store for not more than 30 seconds when a slender man in a cheap, brownish trench coat ran up to me and horked all over the tops, and especially in the laces with a copiousness which is unable to be described in terms of gallons or pounds. New brogans. Horked upon. Fu*k me.
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My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.

Sir Richard Pumpaloaf · Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 2:26 pm Post subject:

Moleman perhaps?
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He who does not ram the lamb, strokes the goat!!

Matt · Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 50

moleman · Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 275 Location: The Garden Theater

I avoid the Pic Way in Belle Vernon exactly for this reason. I believe there is even a shop there called "Horkers, We Have What You Need".
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Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations.

Sir Richard Pumpaloaf

http://communities.canada.com/ott...-wouldn-t-talk-about-horking.aspx

I heard Moleman was spreading a rumour that he seen Matt and Zoltan purchasing tickets from Cathay Pacific just before this incident, the plot thickens.
_________________
He who does not ram the lamb, strokes the goat!!

Sir Richard Pumpaloaf · Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:54 am Post subject:

http://www.facebook.com/people/Horking-Hu/1185852554
http://www.myspace.com/shadowsofthesun
http://www.facebook.com/people/Hork-Ulot/1301692469
http://geekswithblogs.net/mschmidt/archive/2004/06/15/6702.aspx

And regarding Hork Ulot, are those pics his friends or victims? Opinions please

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He who does not ram the lamb, strokes the goat!!