offbeatcinema.myfastforum.org

Matt · Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 50

Beer and pornography? I'm there, Dolph!

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Note to Self: Be Erect by Half-Past 10.

Zoltan · Joined: 18 Jun 2008 Posts: 62 Location: Detroit

How do you say Guacamole in German??
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals

moleman · Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 274 Location: The Garden Theater

Sun Drugs. Perusing the male enhancement products and taking bites of a Mallo Cup that he did not pay for yet. Slayer t shirt. Pink crocs. Bermudas. Tattoo of Tattoo on his left calf.
Matt?
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Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations.

Matt · Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 50

Close. My calf tattoo is of faux lesbo Russian pop stars TaTu.
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Note to Self: Be Erect by Half-Past 10.

Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

Undo's in St. Clarsville, OH. I was counting the pubes in the tines of my fork, when a tour bus packed with senior citizens pulled to the curb. To a person, they all wore matching "Bite Me Off" tees and were all singing " It Is So Matt" in unison. I asked, "Donde es Matteo?" "Con su mamma!", was the response. My mom and Matt. I quess I have to save him a place at the card table this Thanksgiving. Not that it really matters, but I had the Undo's Creamed Spinich Extravaganza Rolls. Runs.
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My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.

tiny · Joined: 17 Jul 2008 Posts: 45 Location: Pittsburgh, PA

In the audience at the last Turt Shartley and the Soilers show at a barn raising in Atlantic, PA. Unconvincing Amish disguise, hopped up horse and buggy, wonky eye. Spotted trying a wheelie after a botched peel-out in the gravel parking area.

Matteo?
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What am I, wood over here?

Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

Palming a package of classic pink hair rollers and filching an entire case of Aqua-Net at the Zayre's in McKeesport, Pa...explaining away his actions to the loss prevention personnel and claiming he was "set-up". Matt?
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My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.

Bombshell · Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:36 am Post subject:

Last I saw, he had his tongue down Shirley McClaine's ear. McClaine. Slut. She'd do anyone for a few slot tokens and a gimlet.
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I never try anything, I just do it. You wanna try me?

Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

McClaine. You could park a Corvair in there.
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My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.

Poe Man Poe · Joined: 03 Dec 2007 Posts: 368 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa.

Tonguing the display window at Parente's TV Repair and Sales in Donora, Pa. Salivating and qouging at his privates whilst eyeing the Mighty Taco commercials through the glass. Snow was beginning to fall and the city workers were installing the community Christmas lights. It looked like Matt. I think he had been drinking.

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My dreams need me more than I need my dreams.